Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
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