im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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