oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Randomize
