Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
