Is it normal to miss your booty call?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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