Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
