Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize