Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
