I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
