U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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