the new term for farting is butt boxing.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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