Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
