These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Randomize
