k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
