I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
PANTIES FOUND
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