It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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