You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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