I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
