Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just high enough for therapy.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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