I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
