Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just invented taco cereal.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
