Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Randomize
