She is in my trunk
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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