No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
don't judge my taste in strippers
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
