Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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