yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
