doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
