He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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