she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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