My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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