And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
