Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
