I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Randomize
