He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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