Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
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