I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
