As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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