She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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