Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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