is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
