I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Randomize
