Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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