my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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