At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
