The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
