Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
