so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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