when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
The Olympian is in my bed
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
