Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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