I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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