you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
