I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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