I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
